What makes a Country Man?

I was listening to a country music radio station today (yes, I do that sometimes) and the song Country Man by Luke Bryan came on. One of the lyrics lines says "I can wrestle hogs & gators with my two bare hands," and it got me to thinking. I know a few country men, and none of them wrestle hogs or gators. I've had the privilege of watching Ryan turn into a country man in the last couple of years, and so I have my own definitions. Ryan went from this:

To this:

in three years. Now, it's subtle I know. But there are some major differences in these two men. These pictures were taken at the same time of year. So here's what would make a Country Man if I were the type to write song lyrics about being a Country Man (but I'm not).


A Country Man...
1. Wears jeans. Always. To almost everything, except church. A country man is uncomfortable in anything else.
2. Comes back from a trip to Target in the middle of a weekday grumpy because there are "too many people."
3. Can't be picked out of the crowd at a farm estate auction.
4. Walks funny on concrete. (This is the one that always strikes me when we go somewhere like the state fair. Ryan walks on concrete like he expects it to roll under him like his pasture, and then it's like his feet are surprised when it's totally completely flat.)
5. Swears at his livestock at the top of his lungs. Ryan's proficient at this one.
6. Leaves little bits of grass and seeds all over the house as they fall off his jeans. See #1.
7. Has firm shoulders. mmm, mmm, but I like this one. Oh, sorry. I'll move on.
8. Can back his livestock trailer into its parking spot. Not just the skill level in getting it into a specific spot, but the fact that it has one.
9. Has a pair of shoes just for going out into public in.
10. Could carry around a tape recorder with the message "Sorry I'm late, chores took me longer than expected" ready to go for every occasion.


I admit, I do love my country man.